Who am I and why do I feel like this?
Just for the sake of answering well, I’m going to assume that your phrase “like this” means it is not a good feeling.
So, who are you?
You are a God-created being, made by him, and intended to be like him, but gone astray from him, just like the whole human race.
He is the source of all well-being, the only supplier of good things into our world.
But we have left him, gone astray from him.
Like people walking away from a supermarket, never to return, our access to the good things he can give is not reliable any more.
Just note: 1. We have left him, not the other way around, and 2. He does not withhold good things from us because he is not willing to give them, but because we are not willing to receive from him.
- Food and shelter are still available to most people as part of his blessing which remains upon the world.
- Family life and belonging to community are less reliable, these are often seriously affected by our “gone-astray” nature. (By “our” I mean not just me or you personally, though we have, but our families, friends and communities, right up to our whole society.)
- Our inner sense of “well being” and our image of ourself are the most seriously damaged of all. We were created to have these parts of our inner self constantly updated by contact with our Creator. Now we are separated from him, these things deteriorate very quickly.
You can often hear people say about Christians, “He (or she) seemed to have “something”, – something I hadn’t got.”
The “thing” which is missing is God’s touch on our lives, reminding us that we are loved, that we are valuable, that we have a purpose, that we have a Destiny, that he is caring for us minute by minute.
Anyway, that’s what we haven’t got if God is missing from his proper place in our lives.
So, why are you feeling like this?
Well, there are good reasons for human sadness, such as losing a loved one, but while sadness is a correct response, we always have to remember that God is with us in whatever is happening.
Which brings me to the more common reason for “feeling like this”, which is that you connection to your lover in heaven has either never been set up, or has become broken down.
The solution is the same in both cases: Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew Ch11 v28 & 29)
It’s “coming to Jesus” which makes the difference. It’s Jesus who remakes our connection with God. Jesus said, “I am the Way”, and “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John Ch14 v6)
No I don’t know where you stand with God, but Jesus died to pay the penalty we deserve for failing to live up to God’s standards, and going astray from him.
And if you are new to all this, you might say “but Jesus is dead now, so he’s no help to me is he?”
That’s where I have some good news for you! Jesus is ALIVE!
We’ve just celebrated Easter, and remembered that Jesus came back to life again three days after he died on the cross. Hundreds of people saw him so there is no question that he really did come alive again.
And that means he is still alive – ready to listen to you if you talk to him, ready to accept the surrender of your heart to him. You don’t have to be in a special place, you don’t have to do special things like kneeling down, just talk to him, and you will find that he will listen.
That surrender of your heart changes your allegiance – from being your own master to having Jesus as your Lord. He restores your connection to God the supplier of all good things. He will tell you how much he loves you and cares for you. He will tell you how special you are to him, and what a valuable person you are. He can reset the damage done by others in your past, heal wounds and help you not to believe lies about yourself.
Of course that doesn’t mean that everything will seem to “go right” in exactly the way you want, for the rest of your life, but it does mean that whatever happens, God is with you, and in the end it will all work out the best way possible, God’s way.